Today I woke up to a beautiful morning. The sun was shining, it was nice and cool, it was pleasantly quiet except for the chirping birds, and…wait! There’s a couple of godamned bucks on my lawn! Those bastards do nothing but poop on my lawn and eat my apple trees.
I went outside to shoo them away. One of them tried to run, but couldn’t really; it had a broken hind leg.
He can stay.
Oh wait, now’s he’s eating my shrubberies. He’s got to go.
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